Healing From a Heartbreak; Steps You Should Know.

A heartbreak isn’t something new. It seems almost inevitable anytime you open your heart to someone else other than yourself.

You can make the mistake to think that heartbreaks only occur during romantic situations, but having your expectations crushed, or someone dashing your hopes against a rock can cause a disappointment painful enough to break your heart.

You can love someone who doesn’t love you the same way, or worse, be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t give you the love you deserve.

Some partners might cheat, or leave abruptly, without any concrete reason, making you doubt if you are ever good enough. You might even begin to feel like you don’t deserve love.

Regardless of the method, it hurts. No one should be left alone to feel this kind of pain, so here are some tips to help you heal.

STEPS TO HEAL FROM A HEARTBREAK:

People experience pain differently. While some may be expressive with their pain, crying their eyes out multiple times, others can be quite secretive when they are hurt and show minimal signs.

However, pain demands to be felt, whether you choose to cry, or pretend to move on, it is going to show eventually if it is not properly handled.

Handling pain is not easy, but the rewards of healing from it, rather than hiding it will do you more good mentally.

Here are some tips you can try.

• DON’T DENY YOU’RE HURT: The mistake you’ll make is to deny the fact that you are hurt. Emotional pain, just like physical pain can be excruciating, and the brain can barely tell the difference.

Don’t deny that you are hurt, own it because it is only what you accept that you can change, or in this case, heal from.

• IT’S NEITHER YOU, NOR THEM: For every break up there is an underlying problem that was never discussed, communicated, or illuminated properly.

It could either be because a partner has refused to accept it as a problem, or it was being tolerated silently. 

Both parties, in most cases, share the blame, so blaming your EX will only lead to hatred.

You should not be the one who blames, rather accept the mistake as a learning process to be a better person than the one who lost you.

• GIVE YOURSELF TIME: To completely move on from an EX will require time because for you to be heartbroken, means there was a love present, and love comes with beautiful memories you both shared.

Over time these memories that remind you of an EX can become triggers, this is why you should not jump into another relationship just yet. Don’t give up on me, I have a reason for saying that.

I want you to heal completely, detox if you must, so you don’t enter another relationship looking for the same person you are no longer with.

This is selfish because no two persons love in the same way, and for someone healing from heartbreak, you should not break the heart of another.

• CHANNEL HURT INTO ART:  I write better when I’m heartbroken, hurt, or in any form of pain. That doesn’t mean I should intentionally set myself up for pain. Don’t do that!

 You can, however, channel your pain into something productive. Learn a new skill, read a book, and have time for the things you were too carried away to do previously.

Self-development helps you set better standards, try to be a better person, and don’t let your pain consume you enough not to improve on yourself. 

• TALK TO FRIENDS: You should always remember before you enter any relationship that having someone or a group of people you can talk to aside from your partner is crucial. Your support system.

The reason why is because a relationship is two individuals agreeing to be one body, and as such, you should have things that already make up for who you are.

Like friends and family because after a breakup they are the ones who are always there for you.

Ignoring your friends and family when you are in a relationship may not be the right move to make.

Make time for your partner, but also, don’t ignore your family and friends!

WHAT TO AVOID DURING A HEARTBREAK:

When you experience heartbreak from a relationship, there are some things that may disguise to be the best approach to healing, but these are the very things you should avoid at all costs.

A heartbreak although painful, is an experience that can help you become a better lover and partner in the future.

You can reflect on the mistakes you made in your previous relationship to avoid making them again. Pain is an opportunity to grow.

The goal is to bounce back as a better person. You should try your best to avoid them because they will not help you to grow.

Here are the things you should avoid after experiencing heartbreak from a relationship.

• BEING TOXIC: You need to heal to avoid transferring bitterness to the next partner you meet. We know you are hurt, but don’t end up hurting a partner who wasn’t the cause of your pain.

Don’t be a jerk unconsciously trying to be a more cautious partner. Being insecure only exposes that you never healed and it can be a turn-off for your new partner.

• HOLD A GRUDGE: Fight the temptation to hold a grudge against your ex. Take responsibility for what happened and accept YOU made a mistake. That way you won’t be full of hate, but rather, full of love, for the right person when they come.
• IGNORE RED FLAGS: After learning the mistakes you made with your EX, you should know better. Don’t ignore red flags just because you are desperate for new companionship, you are only setting yourself up to be hurt again.
• GHOST FAMILY/FRIENDS: You will need them to heal faster. Don’t ghost your friends and family and suffer the pain alone, your true friends will never like to see you hurt, so why should you turn down the care they give?

Ever had your heart broken before? How did you heal?